well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
