I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize