i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
