I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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