i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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