Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
