hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
