if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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