Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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