nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
