I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
