she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
is it fun? or sober?
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