Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize