I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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