How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
