I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
