i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize