this just has baby written all over it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i need some magic done to my vagina
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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