The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
