We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
