We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my shit smells like andre
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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