I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
