youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
