i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
