You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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