Buhtt sex?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
