I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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