Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
