how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
