omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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