I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
