I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
