girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
