I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
