He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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