You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
