Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
In America we eat man semen.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
