Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My room smells like vodka and shame
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
