16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
