woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
