i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
