She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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