There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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