I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
