Me. At least after what I've been through.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
