i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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