just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize