I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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