guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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