They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
