Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize