Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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