The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
