wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
