Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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