when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize