I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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