I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
