I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
