i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
