I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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