don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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