If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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