My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
