is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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