you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize