You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
