Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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