I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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