Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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