In the future we'll all be gay
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
